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Main:Computers

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Loose apronyms:
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90% ACCESS RESTRICTIONSAll Campus Computers Employ Security Systems... Really Expert Students Test Reliability - Interrogating CDEVs of Terminals & Intranet, (re)-Organising Network Software. Angela Brett
100% ACQUISITION SOFTWAREAnyone Can Quickly Understand Its Significance... It Trawls Information On Networks Searching Only For The Worthwhile And Relevant Essays Angela Brett
100% ADSAnticompetitiveness Doesn't Sell ADS = Active Directory Service (Microsoft)
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
100% AMIGAArchaic Machine, It's Gone Away. Steve Keate and Angela Brett
100% AMIGA (2)Another Machine Is Gone Away Don't see too many Amigas any more...
100% AMSTRADAntiquated Machine Starts Trouble... Requires Another Diskdrive. Angela Brett, after a lady in her writing class who'd been using the same Amstrad for 10 years found that it needed a new diskdrive because it hadn't been cleaned.
100% ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCEA Rabbit Teasing In Front Impels Canines In Abortive Laps; In New Technology, Endpoint/Endeavour Likewise Lacks In Genuine Ending. No Conquest's Enough! Angela Brett, because once something (such as handwriting recognition or chess-playing computers) which would have been considered artificial intelligence becomes commonplace, it is no longer really considered to be AI. AI is redefined to be something ever more complicated so that we can never actually say we've succeeded in creating it. This reminds me of racing dogs chasing after a rabbit which they can never catch.
100% BEBankrupt Enterprise Angela Brett
Commerce:Companies
100% BETABegin Experimental Testing Activities TMcCO'G
100% BETA (2)Before Exposing The Artefact TMcCO'G
100% BETA (3)Because Every Test's Affirmative Sean Lamb
100% BIOSBoots In One Second Angela Brett (BIOS actually stands for Basic Input Output System)
100% BOSBat Outta Shell BOS = Base Operating System (IBM). The kernel of AIX and the programs that consist of a base install are included in the BOS.
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
100% BRYCEBuild, Render - You've Created Environment! Angela Brett (Bryce is a 3D landscaping and animation application... see http://corel.com)
100% BSDBest System Design Sean Lamb (BSD = Berkeley Software Distribution; a flavor of UNIX written by UC Berkeley that is the basis for FreeBSD, NetBSD and OpenBSD among others)
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
100% BUG (2)Bitten User Grumbles Angela Brett
Science:Biology:Insects
100% BUG (3)Bad Unexpected Glitch Angela Brett
100% BUG (4)Bytes Unfortunately Garbled Angela Brett
100% BUGSBlight 'Usually Good' Software Angela Brett
100% BUGS (2)Blame Users' Genuine Stupidity Angela Brett -- a few of the programmers where I work are coming up with self-deprecating phrases to put on T-shirts to give out at the company Christmas party. One of the T-shirt slogans is, 'Of course it crashes if you do that!'
88% BURNOUTBlackened Unpopular Residual Notation. Overuse of User's Terminal Tony McCoy O'Grady
100% BYTEBitwise, You Take Eight. Angela Brett
100% CAD (2)Can't Actually Draw Tony McCoy O'Grady (CAD usually stands for Computer Aided Design)
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
100% CNECan't Network Everything CNE's real definition is Certified Netware Engineer
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
Education:Qualifications
100% CNE (2)Certification Nullifies Education CNE's real definition is Certified Netware Engineer
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
Education:Qualifications
75% CNE (3)Creating Networks of Ether CNE's real definition is Certified Netware Engineer
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
Education:Qualifications
100% COMPUTERCrashes Or Mangles Programs Until Technician Emolument Received Rico Leffanta
100% COMPUTER (2)Can't Operate Machine. Participating Usually Terrifies Eventual Recruit Jan Morgan
100% COMPUTER (3)Complex Outrageous Machine Practically Using Things, Especially Remarkable Jacek Dobrzyniecki
100% COMPUTER PRESENTATIONCan Only Make Printouts Using This Expensive Rubbish? Projection's Really Easy, Shouldn't Everyone Nowadays Throw Away Transparencies? Ink's Old News! Angela Brett
Communication:Presentations
90% COMPUTERSCan Only Macintosh Processors Use The Easy-to-Run Software? Angela Brett
100% COMPUTERS (2)Convey Others' Messages! Produce Useful Tips! Electronically Run Securely! Charles H. Montgomery, Jr.
100% COMPUTER SUPPORTChap On My Phone Usually Tries Enabling Repair. Some Unusual 'Puter Problems Often Require Technicians Tony McCoy O'Grady
100% CRASH (2)Computer-Related Accident... Software Hiccup. Angela Brett
100% CRASH (3)Computer Routine Activating Suicidal Hysterics Rico Leffanta
86% CURSORComputers Usually Rely on Systems Of Recursion Sean Lamb
100% DENDoesn't Even Network DEN = Directory-Enabled Networking (Microsoft)
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
100% DESKTOP SUPPORTDoesn't Everyone Seek Knowledge To Operate Personal Systems? Users Persistently Perplex Our Resourceful Technology Sean Lamb
100% DOORSDecently Organized Operating & Running Systems! Tony McCoy O'Grady, who asks "Why use windoze when you can use doors?"
100% DRM (2)Doesn't Record Media DRM = Digital Rights Management (Microsoft)
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
Entertainment
100% DRM (3)Doesn't Really Matter Sean Lamb (DRM = Digital Rights Management {Microsoft}; but file sharing will continue after this "feature" is introduced)
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
100% ELECTRONIC DATA PROCESSINGEver Lost Electronic Credit To Robots Of Nasty Internet Criminals? Don't Allow Their Attacks, Prompt Routine Of Checking Every Site's Security If Negotiating Greenback. Angela Brett
Commerce
100% ENCRYPTIONEach New Code Requires Your Powers To Interpret Others' Notes. Angela Brett
Science:Mathematics
100% ENHANCING BUSINESS RELATIONSHIPEvery Nerd Hampers After New Computer. If Network Geek's Busy Using Some Incredibly Neat Equipment, She Should Respect Employer, Laughing At Technical Idiocy Only Near Somewhere He Isn't Present. Angela Brett, who is sure she'd be in a consistently better mood if she could use a PowerMac G5 at work.
People & Relationships:The Workforce
95% ENTERPRISE SECURITYEvery Network Technician Eeverywhere Respects Privacy Rights Implicitly. Still Every Single Enterprise Consultant Usually Realizes it Isn't True Yet. Sean Lamb
100% !ERROR! ?MESSAGE?Evaluation Required! Read Old Recondite Manuals! Exhaust Sentience Spirit! !Apathy! !Generally! !Ensues! Charles H. Montgomery, Jr.
100% EULAExtremely Unappealing License Agreement EULA = End User License Agreement (Microsoft)
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
100% EXCEPT THAT ONE!Explicit Xclusion Communicated Excitedly: Pressing That Toggle Has Adverse Thrust. One Never Engages! Gavin Lambert, when Angela reminded him to expand anything in capitals -- his email signature is 'Press any key - EXCEPT THAT ONE!!!'
100% FEAR AND LOATHINGFOLDOC Explains Acronym; Really, All Now Do Loathe "Other" Architecture That Honestly Is Not Good Rob Rix, inspired by the FOLDOC entry at http://foldoc.doc.ic.ac.uk/foldoc/foldoc.cgi?query=fear
100% FILEFor Indicating Length - EOF. Angela Brett
91% FIXED MY MACFucked It Xpensively! Expertly Disabled Mac. Yes, Mine's A Cock-up! Tony McCoy O'Grady, after the expensive 'fixing' of Angela's Mac to get it working with her SCANNER in fact caused a few problems and didn't make it work with the scanner.
100% FLECKFewer Lines Equals Conserved Kilobytes Tony McCoy O'Grady
80% FREEWAREForget Rude Expectations of Expenditure, Wallets Abhor Requests for Extraction Angela Brett/Tony McCoy O'Grady
100% GEEKGathers Esoteric, Encyclopaedic Knowledge Angela Brett
People & Relationships:Personality Traits
100% GEEK (2)Greatly Enjoys Enhancing Kernels Angela Brett and Steve Keate
People & Relationships:Personality Traits
83% GEEKSGain Entry to Every Knowledge Society Angela Brett
People & Relationships
100% GEEKS (2)Generally Exhibit Exceptional Keyboard Skills Tony McCoy O'Grady
People & Relationships
100% GEEKS (3)God's Electronic - Every Kilobyte's Sacred Angela Brett
Religion
People & Relationships
100% GEEKYGo Electronic - Everyone Knows You Angela Brett
People & Relationships:Personality Traits
100% GEEKY (2)Generally Everything Elicits Keyboard Yearnings Angela Brett
People & Relationships:Personality Traits
100% GEEKY (3)Gigabit/ Exabit Ethernet Kindling Yottabytes Angela Brett
100% GET A DANG PDAGreatly Expand Technological Abilities; Disregard Ancient Newtons' Greatness, Palms Do Admirably. Jeff Anonymous, after MISSING MOBILE PHONE - MY LIFE'S RUINED, explaining: Then it'll be harder to lose your phone book. With all due respect to the Newton, I seem to recall you having a USB Mac and I understand adapters can be a bit messy, especially with OS X. My Palm Tungsten C is pretty good; a bit pricey, but they make ones that are more economical, without Wi-Fi and whatnot.
Communication
92% GET A MECHANICGenerally, Eliciting The Aid on Many Educated Computer Helpers And Nerds Is Consoling! Tony McCoy O'Grady
100% GIGABYTESGosh, Information Galore! And Building Yearly... Terabytes Emerging Soon. Angela Brett
100% GNUGood News, Usually Steve Keate (GNU actually stands for 'Gnu's Not Unix' and is a project by the free software foundation to make a free alternative to Unix.)
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
100% GNU (2)Gates Now Unhappy Steve Keate
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
96% GRAPHICAL USER INTERFACEGenerally Rapturously Acclaimed, Perhaps Has Increased Consumer Acceptance Levels. Uses Small Emblematic Representations Instead of New Technology English Requiring Further Academic Cycle Education Tony McCoy O'Grady
100% GRAPHICSGlobally Recognised Artwork Perhaps Had Initial Computer Sketch Tony McCoy O'Grady
Art & Literature
100% GUICIDEGraphical User Interface Crashed... Instant Disaster Ensued! Angela Brett, pondering whether deinstalling a GUI (Graphical User Interface) would be committing 'guicide'
Words & Wordplay:Made Up Words
100% GUICIDE AFTERMATHGreat, Unintuitive Incoherent Commands Involved During Everyday Actions. For This, Everything Requires Mindpower - All Too Hard! Angela Brett
Words & Wordplay:Made Up Words
100% HELPDESK"Hello... Eh? Lifeless PC? Depress Electricity Switch."-- Knowall Angela Brett
100% HEWLETT-PACKARDHave Employed Wozniak - Looked Encouragingly Toward The Prototype Apple, Couldn't Know About Resulting Disadvantage. Angela Brett, since Steve Wozniak was working at Hewlett-Packard when he designed the Apple I, but luckily HP weren't interested in selling computers at that time so they didn't claim it as their own.
Commerce:Companies
100% IBMIncredibly Bad Machine Gavin Shapiro
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
Commerce:Companies
100% IBM (2)I Broke Mine Steve Keate
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
Commerce:Companies
100% ICONIt's Clicked On Needlessly Apronymous Anonymous
100% IDOCIndividuals Dependent On Computers Stan Cheney, explaining: We are starting a new organization or movement called "Individuals Dependent On Computers" or IDOC (pronounced: "Idiocy")
100% IF ONLY YOU'D KEPT THE CONTACT DETAILS ON YOUR MAC AND USED ISYNC TO COPY THEM TO THE PHONE.It's Fortunate On New Links You Yuppies Only Use Desktop's Keyboard Entering People's Telephones To Have Everywhere -- Clie Or Nokia, They All Can Take Down (Electronically) Telephone/ Address Information. Lost Something? Only Need Your Other (Unaffected) Repository, Make A Copy And No Data's Unavailable. Synchronising Every Day Is Superfluous, Your Numerous Contacts' Telephones Only Change Once Per Year (That's Horrible Estimate, Maybe Their Own Treasured Handhelds Escaped!) Personal Humble Opinion: Not Essential. Angela Brett (who has been without a mobile phone for the past few years and hasn't missed it) in response to MISSING MOBILE PHONE - MY LIFE'S RUINED. An alternative to 'Clie Or Nokia' would be 'Cellphone or Notebook'.
Communication
100% INFORMATICSI Need Find Out / Research - Maybe Automatically - Topics In Computer System Tony McCoy O'Grady
Science
100% INFORMATION SYSTEMSIncomsequential Notational Fumblings, Often Recording Methodologies Attached To Inflow Of Notions - Supposedly You'll See The Exercise Means Something. Angela Brett, who so far thinks that information systems analysis is a load of rubbish, but understands that some people feel the same way about mathematics.
100% INFORMATION TECHNOLOGYIt's New-Fangled Organisation - Relaying Messages Across The Internet... Only Now They Electronically Can Have Nookie! Online Lovers Often Gull You. Angela Brett
100% INTELInvest Nothing, They'll Eventually Lose. Angela Brett, after Steve said that he wouldn't invest any money in Intel because he doesn't think they innovate any more.
Commerce:Companies
100% IOMEGAI Own Marvellous External Gigabyte Accessory. Angela Brett
Commerce:Companies
100% IOMEGA (2)Input/ Output, My Electronic Gargantuan Accesses. Jeff Anonymous
Commerce:Companies
100% ISImplies Status Edwin Hermann, referring to the usual meaning of IS, Information Systems.
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
100% IT (2)Ivory Tower Rico Leffanta (referring to information technology, of course)
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
100% JPEGJuxtapositioned Pixels Emulate Graphics Sean Lamb (JPEG = Joint Photographic Experts Group)
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
80% JPEG (2)Just Pictures and Entertaining Graphics Sean Lamb (JPEG = Joint Photographic Experts Group)
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
100% JUST TOO BUSYJoyful Users Should Try To Openly Operate Battery Utilisation System. Yes? Tony McCoy O'Grady, complaining about Angela's sister, who is JUST TOO BUSY to change her clock batteries and therefore her emails come through as though they'd been sent several days beforehand.
Assorted Phrases
100% KILOBYTESKeyboard Informs Logicboard Of Blurb You Type - Easily Stored! Angela Brett
100% KUWAIT (2)Keeps Up With Advances In Technology Angela Brett, who works for a dental software company which is expanding into Kuwait.
Places:Countries
100% KUWAIT (3)Keeps Up With Acology Information Technology Angela Brett (see KUWAIT (2))
Places:Countries
100% LOCKUPLets Our Computer Keep Unreal Pauses Rico Leffanta
100% MAINFRAMEMachine Adds Immense Numbers For Researchers - Absorbs Much Electricity Tony McCoy O'Grady
100% MATLABMathematical Algorithms Take Little Actual Brainpower. Angela Brett (MATLAB is a mathematics software package)
Computers:Macintosh & Newton:Software:Applications
100% NAPSTERNasty American Pop-System Took Extreme Revenge Tony McCoy O'Grady
Entertainment:Music
100% NCRNot Completely Reliable Tiny Lee (NCR usually stands for National Cash Register)
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
Commerce:Companies
100% NECNot Enough Components Tiny Lee (NEC usually stands for Nippon Equipment Corporation)
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
Commerce:Companies
100% NETWORK GEEKNeed Equipment To Work Out Route Kilobytes Go? Employ Exchange Kid/Kit Angela Brett
People & Relationships:The Workforce:Occupations
100% OCR'Ow Computers Read Angela Brett (OCR usually stands for Optical Character Recognition)
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
100% OCR (2)Our Computer 'Reads' Tony McCoy O'Grady (see OCR)
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
100% OFFICEObfuscated File Format Is Common Everywhere Sean Lamb (even though the data format of MS-Office documents is exceptionally hidden, they have become a de-facto standard)
100% ONLINE SUPPORTOh No! Latest Instrument Not Effectively Serving Us? Please, People Online, Resolve This! Robert Anonymous
100% PALM DATABASEPerhaps... Angela Likes Mobile Data, And The Acronyms Belong At Sides Everywhere! Angela Brett, when someone searched for Palm Database on the Acronyms website. Perhaps the searcher was wondering if the acronyms were available in some kind of database format for Palm OS handheld computers. They aren't, but if I knew how to I wouldn't mind making them available that way.
100% PALM DATABASE (2)Portable And Little, My Digital Assistant's The Absolute Best - Although Somewhat Expensive Tony McCoy O'Grady
100% PARSERProgrammed Algorithm Reading Sentences, Expressions, Runes Gavin Lambert
100% PASSWORDPick Alphanumeric Symbols, Sans Words Of Reputable Dictionaries. Angela Brett
100% PASSWORD (3)Private And Secret Spelling Which Operator Requires -- Damn Tony McCoy O'Grady
100% PASTEPictures And Simple Text Entered Tony McCoy O'Grady
100% PDAPointer Directs Actions Tony McCoy O'Grady (PDA usually stands for Personal Digital Assistant)
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
75% PIRATEPeople's Individual Rights Association [for] Trading E-files Imaginary association formed to preserve rights of internet music file swappers.
Entertainment:Music
91% POWERPOINTPresentations Once Were Educational. Redmond's Product Outrageously and Inimitably Negates That. Sean Lamb
Communication:Presentations
100% PROMPTPrint Request On Monitor - Please Type! Angela Brett
100% PUFFINPower Users Find Files In Networks Sean Lamb (Puffin is Google's code word for their new desktop file search utility)
Names:Code Names
92% READ A MANUALRender Emergency Assistance Darling Angela, My Available Neurons Unusually At a Loss Tony McCoy O'Grady
92% READ A MANUAL!Relying Exclusively on Auto Diagnosis? A Major And Nasty Unexpected Accident Likely! Tony McCoy O'Grady
100% REAL TIME ACQUISITION SOFTWARERetrieves (Electronically) A Library. The Information Must Enter A Conduit Quickly, Use Ideal-Speed Internet To Integrate Our Nous So Our Fellow Thinkers Will Always Research Efficiently Angela Brett
100% REAL TIME INTEGRATED SOFTWARERender Everything As 'Live' Then (If My Ethernet Is Not Too Erratic) Get Reactions As Things Emerge. Don't Sit Otiosely, Forced To Wait As Report's Edited Angela Brett
100% REFERENCE MANUALRegularly Encountered Features Explained Reliably, Errors Newbies Can Expect. Many Additional Notes Using Accessible Language Tony McCoy O'Grady
Art & Literature
100% SETI AT HOMESupercomputers Everywhere Try Isolating Alien Technology's Hallmark - Obfuscated Mathematical Equations? Angela Brett
Science:Astronomy
100% SETUPSomething Easy To Understand, Please! Angela Brett
82% SHAREWARESoftware Having A Requirement of Expenditure Worth Access to Restricted Elements Angela Brett/Tony McCoy O'Grady
100% SHAREWARE (2)Some Hardworking Authors Rightly Earned Whatever Amount Registration Entails. Angela Brett
100% SIMIAN SIMSeems Intelligent Monkey Is Acronymising - Not Some Irish Mastermind! Tony McCoy O'Grady, after Angela mentioned, "It's so obvious that even a poorly programmed monkey simulator running on Windows 95 could have thought of it" as a possible interpretation of her compliment of another of Tony's acronyms.
Words & Wordplay:Acronyms about Acronyms
100% SISADMINServer Installer Shares Author's DNA, Mitochondrially Identical Network Angela Brett -- A sisadmin is a sister who is also a sysadmin (which is a common abbreviation for system administrator.)
Words & Wordplay:Made Up Words
83% SLEEP (4)Shut-down LCD, Eke Extra Power. Angela Brett, when she put her Newton MessagePad to sleep when it was running out of battery power.
100% SOFTWARESomething Often Found To Worry A Rookie Enthusiast Angela Brett
100% SOFTWARE (3)Someone Offered 'Free Trial'. Worm Already Resident, Encoded. Roger Williams
100% SPARCSun's Particularly Amazing Research Creation Steve Keate and Angela Brett
100% STATE OF THE ARTSpending The Amount That's Expected, One Finds They Have Encompassed All Recent Technologies Tony McCoy O'Grady
Assorted Phrases
Science:Electronics
100% STUFFEDStandard Technical User Fully Frank Error Description Dave Parlett, explaining the technical term in the phrase, 'your PC is stuffed.'
100% SWITCH ONStart With Installation - Then Check Handy Onscreen Notes. Tony McCoy O'Grady
100% THANKS!This Has Angela Nearly Kissing Steve! Angela Brett, when Steve Wozniak bought her an iBook to replace her lost PowerBook 1400cs (see RANSOM)
100% THE SIMSTry Humorous Experiments. Simulated Individuals Manufacture Statistics. Sean Lamb
100% THINK (2)To Hate IBM's Not Known Sean Lamb (IBM's slogan in the early 1980s was "THINK"; now that they're pouring money and development into Linux, they're the good guys again)
94% TRY ONSCREEN HELPThe Reliable Yet Original Necessity. Self Contained, Read-only Embedded Emergency Notes. Helping Essentially Lost People. Tony McCoy O'Grady
100% UNIXUniversity Networks Interoperate Xceptionally Sean Lamb (who learned to use UNIX in a university setting)
78% UPGRADEUsed by Publishers to Generate Revenue And Develop Enthusiasm Tony McCoy O'Grady
100% USB (2)Useful, Since Bondi Angela Brett, since there were hardly any USB peripherals available until Apple introduced the bondi blue iMac, which had a USB port.
Re-expansions of existing acronyms
100% VIRUSViolates Information, Ruthlessly Uses Space Angela Brett
83% VIRUS (3)Virtually Inexhaustible Resources Used by Spammers Sean Lamb (Viruses are becoming the preferred method by spammers to deliver trojans that turn unsuspecting users' computers into spam relays)
100% VOCODERSVoice Of Computer's Often Deliberately Extra Robotic Sounding Angela Brett (thinking of the Macintalk voices Votron, Trinoids and Zarvox in particular)
100% WORM (2)Will Often Replicate Maliciously Sean Lamb (who has spent way too much time tweaking email server filters lately)
75% XMLXtract Meaning at Length Sean Lamb (XML really means eXtensible Markup Language)
Re-expansions of existing acronyms